Moderate Weapons for Responding
to a Consistent Bully

Some bullies are so pushy that you need to hit them between the eyes to get their attention. Here are a couple of sledgehammers to help you stand your ground.

Just say no

Which part of "no" don't you understand? You don't seem to be hearing me: the answer is no! Hello? Can you hear me? I am saying no.

Put him off

- Keep repeating your statement without any variation - Don't explain your answer - Examples of your statements and questions: I'll need to think it over I'll get back to you on that Can I get back to you on that? - If they keep insisting: Which part of "I'll need to think it over" don't you understand?

Confront a bully privately

- Wait for quiet, uninterrupted time (but not first thing in the morning) - Act positive and friendly - Tell him you want to figure out how to better work together - Expect him to abuse your good intentions and try to control you - Don't let him disrespect you: If he takes a phone call, excuse yourself and leave the room If he yells at you, excuse yourself, saying that you would rather wait until he is not so angry - Don't tell a bully how you feel, which he sees as a sign of weakness - Confront a bully with the facts of his bad behavior: His comments or actions that were bullying What his body language implied Statements he made behind your back -Listen to his answer, ask questions to clarify what he meant, then thank him and leave -Examples of your questions: I was told you said ____ about me. Is that true? Are you aware of how critical you sound? I would like you to stop criticizing me behind my back. Can you suggest some things we can do to solve this problem? What can we do to solve this? How can we work together to fix the problem? Is there some way we can work together more effectively? I want us to work well together, but I can't because of the way you treat me. Here's what I need from you ___. I want to learn from you, but without being constantly belittled. Can you make some suggestions?

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