Basic Tools:
Handle a Bully in Meetings

A bully loves to dominate a meeting.

Most meetings lack a strong, clear-thinking moderator and obvious purpose. A bully exploits this situation to his own advantage, using the many tools of manipulation to advance his ends.

You can fight a bully in a meeting by employing a variety of basic techniques and tools described elsewhere on this web site. In fact, many of the tools, such as paraphrasing and the use of humor, are far more powerful in group meetings.

This page provides some additional tools specifically for use at meetings.

For more power against a bully, speak late in the meeting

- Keep silent (or ask brief questions) and be a good listener until late in the meeting - Make sure you talk after the bully has spoken extensively - Since you've been silent, everyone will be curious and tend to pay attention - Also, someone may ask your opinion - Say that you have some opinions on the issue, but first you need to correct some of the bully's misstatements

Don't let a bully interrupt you

- Since you've been a good listener, you have leverage to insist he listen - If you're interrupted, interrupt back and respond forcefully: I'd like to finish please. I just have a few points I want to cover, then I'll shut up. I listened to you, now will you have the common courtesy to listen to me? Will you please hear me out? - If the bully starts a side conversation, interrupt him forcefully (use the same types of comments as if he interrupted you directly)

Don't let a bully leave the meeting while you're speaking

- Use the same types of comments as if he interrupted you - If the bully leaves the meeting anyway, comment on his inappropriate behavior: Too bad he left. I wanted to ask him about some misstatements he made. Now there goes someone who loves to talk and hates to listen.

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