Basic Tools:
Don't Let a Bully Steamroll You

If you start exercising control over a conversation or meeting, a bully will try to squash you. His methods for doing this may include suddenly changing the subject, yelling, talking over you, launching a monologue, ridiculing you, misinterpreting your comments, or lying about your intentions.

Don't take his bait! If you respond directly to his comments, you have given him control. Instead, use a standard response technique to re-focus the conversation on the key issues.

Here's how to keep a bully from steamrolling you:

Don't allow yourself to be interrupted

- When he interrupts you, interrupt him back (see How to Interrupt a Bully) - Then forcefully show him your intention to finish - Examples of your statements and questions: Excuse me, but I'm not finished Excuse me, but can I finish? I listened to you, now will you listen to me? I would like to hear your viewpoint, but can I finish first? Will you do me a favor? Will you hear me out without interruption?

Repeat yourself

- Repeat a question over and over until he answers it - After each of his non-responsive statements, say "Yes, but ___" and repeat your prior question - Examples of your statements and questions: Yes, but can you answer my question? Yes, but what should we do about ___? Yes, but what are you planning to do about ___?

Don't let him change the subject

- Interrupt him and repeat your question - Ignore what he says and repeat your question - Even if he attacks you, ignore it and repeat your question - Examples of your statements and questions: Like I said before, ___ (repeat yourself) . Which part of my question don't you understand?

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