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Battle Techniques: Advanced Responses

After you have mastered the fundamentals and effectively incorporated a variety of weapons (see Tools for Battle), you will be ready for the next step.

Rather than use your new-found power to fight and destroy bullies, you can learn to redirect a bully's energy in a harmless or even a positive way. Your new objective will be to conquer a bully without fighting him.

This advance technique will incorporate many of the skills learned elsewhere on this website. To become proficient, you must understand yourself and the bully, master the fundamentals, and thoroughly learn the many weapons for fighting the bully. The rest must be drawn from your own intuition and awareness.

Advanced Response Technique
Primary objectives - Show the bully that you are in complete control of yourself

- Gain and maintain control of the situation

- Redirect his energy, in a very subtle way, towards a positive outcome
Step 1 - Absorb the bully's attack - Calm him quickly

- Show him that you understand his immediate problem and desire

- Show him that you don't take his attack personally
Step 2 - Use the force of the bully's attack to subdue him - Encourage him to restate his primary point

- Ask for his relevant opinions and suggested solutions

- Listen actively with paraphrasing and follow-up questions

- Re-evaluate your position (maybe he is right!)
Step 3 - Give a meaningful, controlled response - Let him know you want to help him, if possible

- Summarize the situation and options

- Use the same language style as a bully (terminology and phrases)

- Give your conclusion:

    Here's what I am going to do ___.
- Give him options for his own behavior
Step 4 - Effectively respond to the bully's objections - Restate your own intentions

- Describe the bully's options again

- Explain the benefits and problems of each option

- Ask the bully to make a simple choice
Step 5 - Effectively respond to the bully's continued manipulation - Reject his demands:

    I'm sorry, but I can't do that.
- Ask him sincerely:

    Is there anything else I can do to help you?
- If necessary, ask him:

    Is there anything I can do to resolve this situation?
Step 6 - If you still can't overcome him, calmly disengage from the bully - Agree to disagree:
    It looks like we disagree on this issue.
    Let's just agree to disagree.
- Excuse yourself and leave

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