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Battle Techniques:
Stages of Fighting with a Bully
(Part 2)

In responding to an attack from a bully, there are six basic levels of response. The one you choose will depend on your stage of battle, the type of bully and how much is at stake.

You can also use this outline for isolated bullying incidents, bullying from family members and relatives, and bullying from a stranger or aggressive salesperson.

Warning: Levels 5 and 6 may lead to undesirable or even violent outcomes.

Level of Response Action You Take

Level 1:
Passive Ignore the bully.
Pretend he wasn't talking to you and continue what you were doing.

Level 2:
Gentle Ignore the bullying behavior and be friendly towards the bully.
Pretend he didn't say anything bullying and ask:
How's it going?

What's new?

Level 3:
Active Confirm whether you are being bullied.
Act confused about what he said and respond:
I don't understand what your point is.

What are you trying to say?

What's your point?

Level 4:
Responsive Use your expertise to effectively respond.
Most of your fighting will occur at this level.

- Evaluate the situation to determine an appropriate technique for responding.

- Pick a tool for responding.

- Respond immediately and with conviction.

- Alternatively, arrange for a later time to confront the bully.

Level 5:
Aggressive (Warning:
may lead to undesirable outcome) Focus the attention of others on a bullying.
Examples:
1. Let's ask ____ what he thinks about that. (To someone nearby) Hey ____, can you come here a minute? (To bully) Now repeat what you just said.

2. (To people in the general vicinity) Hey everybody, did you hear that? _____ says I'm _____.

Level 6:
Vicious (Warning:
may lead to violent outcome) Agree with bullying statement to its extreme conclusion.
- Don't disagree in the least, no matter how vicious the attack.
- Take the bully's comment to it's logical but obviously absurd conclusion.
- Continue to the point of mocking the bully.
- Continue with your monologue until the bully loses control.
- Then stop talking and let the bully embarrass himself.

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Level of Response	Action You Take
Level 1: Passive	Ignore the bully. Pretend he wasn't talking to you and continue what you were doing.
Level 2: Gentle	Ignore the bullying behavior and be friendly towards the bully. Pretend he didn't say anything bullying and ask: How's it going? What's new?
Level 3: Active	Confirm whether you are being bullied. Act confused about what he said and respond: I don't understand what your point is. What are you trying to say? What's your point?
Level 4: Responsive	Use your expertise to effectively respond. Most of your fighting will occur at this level. - Evaluate the situation to determine an appropriate technique for responding. - Pick a tool for responding. - Respond immediately and with conviction. - Alternatively, arrange for a later time to confront the bully.
Level 5: Aggressive (Warning: may lead to undesirable outcome)	Focus the attention of others on a bullying. Examples: 1. Let's ask ____ what he thinks about that. (To someone nearby) Hey ____, can you come here a minute? (To bully) Now repeat what you just said. 2. (To people in the general vicinity) Hey everybody, did you hear that? _____ says I'm _____.
Level 6: Vicious (Warning: may lead to violent outcome)	Agree with bullying statement to its extreme conclusion. - Don't disagree in the least, no matter how vicious the attack. - Take the bully's comment to it's logical but obviously absurd conclusion. - Continue to the point of mocking the bully. - Continue with your monologue until the bully loses control. - Then stop talking and let the bully embarrass himself.