Hidden Trait #6:
A Bully is Evasive

A bully can be very slippery as he avoids the truth at all costs.

A bully avoids the truth

- He never gives a straight answer - He acts confused by any complaint about his behavior - He minimizes his bad behavior and ignores his evil intentions - He justifies his bad behavior as needed to achieve positive goals - He characterizes his bad behavior as a valid leadership quality - He focuses on the past or future rather than dealing with his behavior - He refuses to clarify his rationale for his behavior - He denies he did something manipulative or harassing - He ignores facts that reveal his dark side - He explains his verbal attacks as "only kidding"

A bully shifts the focus to others

- He says the problem is with others - He acts like he is the one who is being victimized - He makes you feel guilty for hurting him - He accuses you of behavior that was far worse than his - He says you caused his bad behavior - He criticizes others to avoid discussing his behavior - He says the only problem is with your lack of understanding - He says you don't understand the situation - He says you don't understand him - He is harsh in attacking you: "You don't get it, do you?" - He accuses you of being defensive or overly sensitive

A bully is never honest and constructive

- He is never straightforward - He never makes an effort to fix relationships by changing his behavior - He never tells you his hidden agenda - He never reveals his innermost desires - He avoids direct confrontation with you - He won't surface a conflict with you and resolve it openly - He becomes angry and indignant when confronted

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