Visible Trait #6:
A Bully is Argumentative

A bully thrives on arguing as a way to force his ideas on others. He uses a variety of bullying tactics to gain the upper hand in arguments. His objective is to criticize, belittle, demean or mock you; or to mislead others who are listening.

A bully disagrees with everything you say

- He may seem to agree, then he says "but" and argues with you - He asks you questions, but rarely accepts your answers - He is always challenging and contradicting what you say

A bully's communication is mostly talking

- When he listens, he is merely gathering facts for a later attack on you - He usually pretends to listen to appear respectful - He is usually thinking about his own arguments and waiting for an opportunity to speak - He never pays attention to what you think is important (he doesn't care) - He never engages in a true two-way conversation

A bully controls meetings to achieve his own objectives

- He dominates meetings through monologues and interruptions - He talks to gratify his ego, gain power or control others - He doesn't participate in group give-and-take exchanges - If he doesn't get his way, he becomes angry - When others don't listen to him, he launches a verbal tirade - When he is done presenting his ideas, he impatiently ends a meeting or leaves

A bully distorts your viewpoint

- He misstates and misrepresents your statements - He omits key facts - He attacks unimportant detail to discredit your position - He convinces others you are narrow-minded and biased - He suggests that one mistake makes your entire position wrong - He implies that you aren't honest and trustworthy

A bully misinterprets what you say

- He misinterprets your meaning - He attacks something you didn't say or mean - He is smug in his attack on his misinterpretation of what you said

A bully mocks and ridicules your opinions

- He refuses to take your arguments seriously - He refuses to take you seriously - He ignores your point of view - He makes a joke out of your point of view

A bully attacks you personally rather than your viewpoint

- He hits below the belt or humiliates you - He attacks your way of thinking - He questions your mood or motives - He encourages others to attack you - He asks leading questions of others to make them criticize you - He asks others to repeat criticisms of you they said in private - He uses hearsay and misinterpretations to attack you

A bully side-steps your valid points, rather than debating logically

- He won't address the substance of the issue - He brings in unrelated issues - He restates his prior points so the discussion goes around in circles - He uses authoritative quotes and stories to support his position

A bully easily feels threatened and goes on the offensive

- He wins by intimidating rather than on the merits of his case - He becomes angry at others when they support your viewpoint - He encourages others to attack you - He doesn't correct misstatements that demean you - He exaggerates the differences in his viewpoint and yours - He brings up sensitive issues to distract others - He uses innuendo to provoke people - He creates chaos, then proposes a solution

A bully pulls rank to shut down opposing viewpoints

- He claims a greater concern for the company - He claims greater experience that is relevant to the topic - He claims greater knowledge of the issues - He claims the topic is much more important to himself than others - He uses quotes, statistics and anecdotes to prove his superior knowledge - He becomes angry if you point out the irrelevancy of his "facts"

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